Fat

I feel like I have so much I want to say but it's all swimming around in my head in a mush of unformed clouds and bubbles. Some of it is deep and meaningful, some of it is frivolous nonsense. So, where to begin?
I guess as it's NYE the best place would be a review of the year!
It's been a funny old year, mostly good to be honest. I've managed not to have any wild episodes of depression, I've had a lot of man action (!) and some fun times like a great holiday in Morocco and lots of weddings! I've also left my job of nearly ten years and one of my biggest goals for 2011 is to dramatically change career.
This past month has been a bit peculiar though. I've had a few, I suppose emotional is the best word, wobbles regarding my current living situation and the most frustrating thing for me is that it's all tied up in my head with my weight. I can't get over the thinking that 'this wouldn't happen if I were thin', which is mental, because all of the minor and insignificant incidents which have bothered me could happen to anyone. I've not broken a chair or a bed or walloped anything with my arse or something like that! The trouble is, I expect that this weird over dramatic paranoia will stay with me regardless of my size!
Anyway, enough of that, I just wanted to get it off my chest somewhere and shouting into the abyss seems as good a place as any!

So 2011? Here are my hopes:

~ To lose weight, duh! I'd like to lose 100lbs. I need to lose more but this seems like a reasonable goal for the year, reasonably tough but not out of the realms of possibility.
~ To find a job I enjoy
~ To meet someone special
~ To be consistently fabulous
~ To make a greater contribution to those less fortunate than me
~ To become financially responsible once and for all!
~ To have some wonderful experiences

Let's see if I can make it! And finally...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2011 is WONDERFUL for you all!

New Year, New Me?

So the excesses of Christmas are nearly over and in two short days it'll be 2011. How crazy is that?! Twenty Eleven? Whaaat?

Starting something new at New Year is such a cliché, but I always feel a real sense of renewal at this time of year and I guess it's as good a time as any, better than 'tomorrow' eh?

The thing that's worrying me is how to tackle it. I've had good results with WeightWatchers but I dunno, I'm not sure how I feel about it these days. Then there's Slimming World, I know many people who've done well on it but for some reason it doesn't appeal. There are any number of other methods I could use too, low GI, low carb, South Beach, blah blah. Obviously the best way would be 'a balanced and healthy diet' but I think I need something a little more hardcore to get me going.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back to WeightWatchers because it's what I know and love but we'll see. Still got chocs from Christmas to get rid of yet!

Rip It Up and Start Again

The chances of anyone still knowing this blog exists are slim, but if you do, you'll have noticed a complete lack of posts. Yep, I deleted everything. I'm not the person I was when I began writing this and it all just seemed so horrible and whiny, self indulgent, ridiculous.

I still want to blog though, to a point(!), so here we are. I'm starting again. I've no idea if I'll keep this up but I'm temporarily a lady of leisure and I'm sure if nothing else does, boredom will push me into updating more regularly.

I guess broadly speaking this will still be a weightloss blog as this is something I want to concentrate on during my hiatus from employment but to be honest, there are bigger and better things in life so I don't want to restrict it to dieting or it's going to end up as another whinge-fest.

However, what I will say is that the little progress I'd made at this time last year has been wiped out. Yes it's depressing, yes I'm frustrated with myself, yes I've felt like giving up but on the same score, now is The Time. I'll never again have this opportunity to dedicate my time to properly putting the effort in and with so much else changing, why not add another thing. Yes I'm starting from a point I'd rather not be and it's going to take longer to reach what in my mind is a Magic Scale Number, but just because there's a roadblock and I've had to go a way that's going to take a bit longer, doesn't mean I'm not going to reach my original destination does it? I might just need a bit more gas, to read the map more carefully and a little extra patience!